Some were victimized by physical abuse and their bodies were stricken by the brutality of the people they believed in.
A few were raised in violent families and where love was replaced by fear. Many faced the challenges of puberty and struggled with changes in their bodies and minds that they weren’t prepared for.
Many were victims of early sexual assault at relatives of their parents, cousins and uncles, or even the ones who ought to have defended their children. Many were deceived by lies about love only to be used to satisfy selfish needs. Many were cheated by the people they entrusted their heart to.
A few suffered the loss of their dignity by the effects of alcohol or drugs in a state of denial when they felt weak. A few were victims of a date rape, where it was meant to be an evening filled with excitement was turned into an unimaginable nightmare. Many were subjected to a violation of their privacy and naked pictures were which were taken without consent, and then employed as weapons to make them look bad.
Many were smuggled into blackmail by their former partners, using their previous relationships smacked against them to control them. There were those who were involved in relationships that they shouldn’t had, their minds and hearts lost by those who didn’t take care of their health. Many suffered from health issues such as menstrual problems, causing them to feel isolated from their bodies. Many come from broken families, the marks of divorce and separation are still evident. Many have divorced, carrying the burden of failed relationships and hopes shattered.
Many face financial difficulties each day, with the burden of debt and debts wreaking havoc on your peace. Many suffer from addictions, be it to alcohol, drugs, or any other substance that helps to ease the ache of their battles. Some have reached the point of despair, and have considered the end of their lives but others have battled through the darkness and refused to give up.
If you come across someone who has gone through one of these struggles and still sits before you, wiping her tears, tied her hair back and smiling that covers her sorrow Don’t rush to be harsh with her. Don’t attempt to judge your experiences with hers, or reduce her suffering. Don’t add burden she already bears. Allow her to breathe, walk alongside her, and extend your assistance as she continues on her journey. At that point you’ll be amazed by the beauty of her spirit as well as the strength of her determination. You’ll realize that in spite of the fights she’s had to face and the effort she’s put in her body, she has a sense of faith in her soul, a faith that is never going to die regardless of how many times the world has tried to destroy her.
It could be anyone. The woman you see along the road. The person you meet in the supermarket. Your best friend who appears robust, yet hides her sorrow in the mask of. Your sister, who been silent or with your partner who is still carrying the burden of the past betrayals. You could even have your mother who has experienced things you’ve never imagined but continues to love and care for her children despite the wounds.
Don’t judge her by her previous experiences. Do not try to define her according to the things she’s experienced. Instead offer to her the chance of having a bright future that is full of possibilities and free from the burdens from her previous life. Give her the unconditional love she deserves that kind that heals instead of hurts.
Truly, deeply and completely. An honorable man and courageous enough to defend those who require it and has the patience to be attentive, as well as ability to recognize that strength cannot be measured by the extent one is able to dominate and how far one can lift. A person who realizes that true power lies in compassion, kindness in compassion, and in perseverance. But, unfortunately in our society we frequently mistake the strength of a man for cruelty and respect for violence.
We witness people who assert their power by hurting people they ought to protect and love. The truth is, If God, the All-knowing, The All-Merciful, can be gracious to us for our errors and sins, why shouldn’t us? Why do we keep on blaming women, and especially other women, for actions they could not control? Why is forgiveness reserved to certain people, but not for other people?
A woman’s past doesn’t determine her. It does not diminish her value or make her less worthy of respect, affection, or of an upcoming future. She is much more than the injuries that other people have wreaked on her. She is much more than the hurts, the heartbreaks the betrayals, or errors she has made. She is a soul alive and full of life and in love and determined to be hopeful in spite of everything.
The next time you come across a woman that has weathered the storm but came out of it, however damaged she appears on the outside, take note of this: she’s more resilient than you think. You have the option to either join her and be supportive or criticize her based on what she’s endured. Take your time. Choose kindness. In the end, it’s love & compassion that heals and heals, not scorn or judgment.